I Decided to Homeschool Because of Bullying in School
STORIES, NEWS & INFORMATION
I’m an accidental homeschooler. How did I accidentally start homeschooling, you ask? My oldest daughter was constantly being bullied in middle school. She had had enough. I had had enough. Bullying in schools seems to be out of control and we were done. There was no way I was going to continue to send her to school when she would beg me not to go.
The kids who bullied her would not let up and it was affecting her grades, her behavior, and her self-esteem. My child was once a happy student, always excited about going to school. She looked forward to learning and spending time with her friends, and doing the things that 12-year-olds do. But now, it was as if she was a completely different person. I was heartbroken. And the school was not being very cooperative, which also made me feel angry and helpless. But I wasn’t hopeless. I knew I had options. And homeschooling was one of them.
If you’re in the same predicament, I know how you feel. But believe me, things will get better. As a parent, you have your child’s best interests at heart and although doing what is right for them won’t come without its share of sacrifices, in the end, everyone will be a whole lot happier. This is my story and I hope it helps you help your child.
Getting Down to (Homeschool) Business
I can’t tell you how excited my oldest was when brought up the idea of homeschooling. Even though it was something we had never really talked about, she knew what it was and she was completely onboard. Like me, she had tons of questions. Some, I was able to answer, others, we looked up online and learned together.
In doing my research, I noticed that bullying and homeschooling are both on the rise. There were more and more families homeschooling because of bullying, among other reasons. And let me just say, I never thought I’d be homeschooling, much less homeschooling a bullied child. I always figured my children would go to a traditional school like I did. So as you can imagine, I was feeling the pressure and I was stressed, but more than anything, I wanted my daughter to be happy again.
I never knew there were so many things to consider when homeschooling:
State laws – Are there required subjects I need to teach? Does my child need to take annual assessments? Do I need to keep records?
Homeschool method – Should we throw all we’ve come to know out the window and unschool? Maybe eclectic homeschooling is more her style? Roadschooling? That’s a thing?
Curriculum type – Should we use an online program? Perhaps she can attend a virtual school? Are textbooks the way to go?
I had more questions than answers, but I also discovered that we were about to gain tons of freedom. As a homeschooler, I would have the flexibility to:
- Homeschool year round or on a traditional schedule
- Incorporate field trips into our lesson plans
- Learn about anything and everything my child wants to
- Homeschool on days and times that are most convenient for us
- Work from home, the library, the park…anywhere
Making the decision to homeschool meant we would have to make other unexpected changes in our household. For starters, I would have to quit my full-time job. This meant we would be down to one income, so more than likely we’d need to cut our expenses in a few areas. That would take getting used to, but we sat down as a family, ran some numbers, and did what we had to do.
My husband and I also had to ask ourselves: what about our other daughter who is in elementary school? Should we homeschool her too? There really wasn’t any reason to since she was perfectly happy in school. So after discussing it as a family, we decided that, for the time being, she’d remain in school.
How Homeschooling Has Helped my Child
I have seen so many positive changes in my daughter since we started homeschooling. I think her demeanor dramatically improved the moment she knew she didn’t have to go back to school.
She loves being able to take her education into her own hands. Yes, we learn about the basics like math, language arts, science, and history, but she also has so much freedom to learn about anything at all that interests her. She truly enjoys learning and I feel like she’s matured so much since we started homeschooling.
My daughter gets to see her friends from school all the time, and she’s even made new ones from the homeschool group we’re now a part of. She doesn’t feel like she missing out by not going to school. She’s happy and back to her old self again. And as a parent, that makes it all worthwhile.
Pulling my oldest daughter out of middle school was one of the best things we did. That’s not to say it didn’t come with doubts, challenges, and frustration, but I knew that I was doing what was best for her. It’s been a few months now, and we still have some of those emotions from time to time, but I know that it’s normal. We are all learning as we go, making the most of the time we get to spend together, and having fun in the process.
My daughters has been bullied for years to the point of not wanting to live I’ve changed schools a everything I know to do the school Systems won’t do anything and definitely the schools won’t do anything but look over it I need help I’m at my last ends and feel like I’mGoing to brake or go crazy I really need more information on homeschooling ASAP!!
Kristen, we are very sorry to know your daughters have been victims of bullying. Sadly, as this blog indicates, they are definitely not alone. Below are several links you may find helpful in your journey to get started. Homeschooling is legal in all 50 states and you have the freedom to begin homeschooling at any time. You will, however, need to follow the homeschooling laws of your state which you can access below. If you need further assistance please reach out to us at any time! We wish you all the best! (See links below)
State Homeschooling Information & Resources (You’ll find state-specific tips for getting started, related homeschooling laws, state/local groups, field trips, & more!): https://www.time4learning.com/homeschooling/by-state.html
How Time4Learning Works: https://www.time4learning.com/homeschool-curriculum/how-it-works/
Deschooling (Taking time to do deschool can allow you and your students a chance to shift your mindset and discover all the new opportunities available when homeschooling!): https://www.time4learning.com/deschooling.html
Time4Learning Families Facebook Group (Join to post questions, search the group, and connect with other parents — including those also with similar experiences.) https://www.facebook.com/groups/Time4LearningFamilies
My daughter entered the top exam school in Boston Public School at age 12, and ended sexually harassed and even sexually assaulted at one point, by classmates. I’m naive, it took me time to realize that the administration would not learn how to stop this, so I moved my daughter to private school that claimed to be value kindness and community. Unfortunately, the school admitted the sexual assailant from her former school into her new “safe” school, along with another student who circulated the lies about my child at the new school. The new school hasn’t handled it and my daughter refuses to go back. If you had told me years ago that I’d begin home-schooling my traumatized teenager, I would have told you you were very wrong. Instead, now I have found a science and math teacher — a former tutor — around whom my daughter is comfortable enough to learn. I’m working on finding teachers for executive function help, English and writing, and, eventually a Latin teacher so that she can finish up her high school language requirements. Finding a good teaacher for EUropean history has been daunting so far. But I believe now that putting my energy into finding teachers will be less traumatizing for me than having to return to school administrators over and over to essentially beg them to care about the damage that misogynist bullying has done to my child. I’m a single parent and sole bread winner. I’d love to hear others’ tales of turning to home schooling as a way to keep a child safe and able to learn.
Jill – My daughter was abused by educators to the point she refused to go back to school; has severe PTSD and does not trust teachers. (was hospitalized 3 times)I homeschooled her but the School Committee refused to approve the plan. We enrolled her in college where she received a 98.5 on her first College Writing. She was just expelled and we have to go into federal court to have the Natick School Committee approve (retro) her homeschool plan. I also am single mom; disabled but my child wanted to learn and spent her days reading and I used online programs to supplement. God Bless!
Thanks for stopping by our blog, Corey. We’re sorry to hear about your daughter’s experience, but we appreciate you sharing your story! Best of luck!
Thanks for sharing your story, Jil. We’re glad to hear that homeschooling is an option for your family. We wish you well on your continued journey!
Thanks for this post. My daughter is an experienced homeschooler and she always experienced this type of problem everyday in 2019. She said that she always wanted help from me but I can’t do anything. So I checked posts from Time4Learning and stumbled across this post. I read it to my daughter and she is excited to know more from your posts! Love you all and see you soon.
Thanks for stopping by, Cyndi! We’re so glad that we can be a good resource for you and your daughter! 🙂
Thanks for this. I just read it aloud to my daughter and husband. She is having a terrible time at school. She is a very sweet person. One of the most considerate people I’ve ever known and she’s a child! She’s smart and athletic and very pretty(she really is and I’m not just being biased;)but kids can be very cruel. She cries so often and I am very worried. She keeps headaches almost daily and I feel like the stress from bullying and “drama”(as she calls it)is what has caused her constant headaches. Girls are jealous and just mean. The boys are immature and many of them have no respect for others. She has even been sexually harassed. The boys were kicked out of school but their friends picked right up with verbally attacking her afterward. So, it didn’t help much time bring it to the attention of the school staff. She has talked to a counselor and nothing helps a whole lot. I really believe we are going to need to go this route. She also has a younger sister in elementary. This article sounded so much like our situation and how I feel! I think we will be doing homeschooling for this coming 8th grade year. 7th grade was a nightmare for her and for me as well. As you already know, we moms hurt when our kiddos hurt.
Hi Brooklynne. Thanks for stopping by! We’re so sorry to hear of your daughter’s struggle with bullying, but we’re glad this post could be a good resource for you! If you have questions about Time4Learning or need help getting started with homeschooling, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us. 🙂 https://www.time4learning.com/curriculum/contact_us.php
Thank you for this article. My son is currently experiencing a massaive drop in his grades and he is being bullied everyday. He actually likes learning a lot and we are considering going in this direction. I was him at his age, and independent study changed my life for the better. I have hopes that it can do the same for him.
Hi Jessika! Thanks so much for stopping by. So many students have found success with independent study! If you’d like any help getting started with homeschooling, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us! 🙂 https://www.time4learning.com/curriculum/contact_us.php